Sitting in the deep January darkness of morning, sitting with this mourning darkness, I’m willing it to feel like a gift… Ms Oliver’s words have saved me SO many times over the years – simply, I believe the solid, earthy truth of her clear poetic, or prosaic, words – but after this week, I am not so sure.
One dear friend told us over a cup of tea on Wednesday, her chemo and radio therapies have failed to halt the cancer in her lungs.
Another dear, gentle friend to all in our community died yesterday lunchtime after months of confusion and pain as tumours filled her brain.
And Mary O. herself died on Thursday of lymphoma.
The light has gone out, the darkness envelopes. I am wading upstream, reading her words, trying to get a foothold, as eddies of grief swirl…
For once, I am not seeking a glimmer to lighten the heaviness. I am trying (and currently failing) to receive this box full of darkness as a gift.